News you can't use...for anything

It's that time again, fascinating snippets from the Eldridge police reports! For those of you who aren't familiar with this portion of my blog, I cut out some of the more (or less, depending on your prospective) interesting complaints in our local weekly paper...and add a few comments. I would also like to preface this by saying that although I think my tax dollars would be better spent on other things, I am glad that I live in a place that these are the types of 'crime' that we contend with. If for whatever reason, you enjoy this quirky stuff, there are older ones in my News section of the blog.

Oh, my friends, there has been a lot of frightening stuff going on here in Eldridge, a regular crime wave you might say. Very distressing indeed.

First of all, there seems to be a horrible rash of hate crime against members of the squash family, or maybe it's pumpkin on pumpkin crime, it's hard to say. Initially, there was some kind of pumpkinnapping, right off of it's own front porch. I am so glad that a concerned citizen called the police to report this sort of horror.

Then this!

Oh the humanity! I can't even think about it without picturing the chalk outlines of their broken little pumpkin parts. Seriously, did someone need to call the police at 3:30 am to report a smashed pumpkin? I dunno.

In other crime....I never thought there would come a day when this would happen....

OMG! What if that gets to be common place, and ads of questionable origin pop up willy nilly on the internet? Let's all just hope that never happens.

As a rule, if there are more than 2 youths in a group, especially if they are hanging out in a shady place like the rec center, they are bad news and not to be trusted....it is always best to alert the authorities, and do it fast, before they do something like this..

But it's not just the kids that are up to nefarious activities.

Okay, I have to cut some slack on this one. I am pretty open minded, so I say, just because the cat didn't know the animal, if everything was consentual, who are we to judge?
Wait, let me read that again to make sure I understand..... Fire, behind the fire department, someone notified the fire department.......I feel safe.Hmmmm...can't add anything to that one, It's a nice little story...fast, alert, fleeing fox...didn't that used to be a typing test or something?