News that has no use.

While we are waiting for lambs, let's keep abreast of all the important goings on in Northern Scott county- shall we? For those of you who are new to my blog, this segment highlights all of pulse-pounding drama and criminal activities that happen here on the East coast of central Iowa as documented in the police report section by our local, rural newspaper. This much treachery and nefarious activity could not possibly happen in one week's time, which is how often the paper comes out, so I save the more intriguing snippets and compile them here-just for you.

The first item of business is this blatant disregard for peace and order.....

Maybe I am being naive here, but isn't loud music the hallmark of Ice Cream truck?

This next story struck me mostly because of the brutal language involved.
"Ha!" "What?"

Oh, the horror! Someone, quickly get those children a bowl of chips and put them back in front of the video games where they belong!!! We can't have children playing OUTSIDE!

Did they really need to turn him in to the resource officer? Was he made to sit in the Principal's office....in a teeny tiny chair? These are just some of the things that I think about when I hear these disturbing stories.

For me, driving into someone else is always the best means to conflict resolution.

As much as I was concerned for the welfare of this poor fellow lost in the trees, it occurred to me that 'East Iowa street' is in town, and being that we live in Iowa, there are not vast expanses of forest abounding. Curiosity got the better of me and I located the area in question.................

A few trees between the railroad tracks and the road. In defense of the poor man lost in the trees, the time stamp on this report was 1:38 in the morning and Del's bar was just a few short blocks away.

It's a good thing that there is not a lot of identifying information in that report about the lost keys, we wouldn't want just anyone to be able to walk in and say, "Has there been a set of keys turned in with a NY ring, two keys and a mini flashlight?"

What? Juveniles using foul language? This is exactly the kind of thing that we have a police force for!

Hide the women and children! Five motorcyclists can only mean one thing-there are five people on motorcycles. People on motorcycles=bad!

Ummm, OK......cat problem solved then.

This guy has more trouble than a motorcycle gang riding into town.

This was perhaps my favorite. I PROMISE you, my friends, I don't make this stuff up. If you think that here in the Midwest we don't have celebrity encounters on a regular basis, this just goes to show you how wrong you are. Not only do we have celebrities, but they come here to wreak havoc on poor, unsuspecting, law-abiding citizens.

We are on to you, Cindy Crawford!

If you are a glutton for punishment, click here to read previous news posts.

News you can't use...for anything

It's that time again, fascinating snippets from the Eldridge police reports! For those of you who aren't familiar with this portion of my blog, I cut out some of the more (or less, depending on your prospective) interesting complaints in our local weekly paper...and add a few comments. I would also like to preface this by saying that although I think my tax dollars would be better spent on other things, I am glad that I live in a place that these are the types of 'crime' that we contend with. If for whatever reason, you enjoy this quirky stuff, there are older ones in my News section of the blog.

Oh, my friends, there has been a lot of frightening stuff going on here in Eldridge, a regular crime wave you might say. Very distressing indeed.

First of all, there seems to be a horrible rash of hate crime against members of the squash family, or maybe it's pumpkin on pumpkin crime, it's hard to say. Initially, there was some kind of pumpkinnapping, right off of it's own front porch. I am so glad that a concerned citizen called the police to report this sort of horror.

Then this!

Oh the humanity! I can't even think about it without picturing the chalk outlines of their broken little pumpkin parts. Seriously, did someone need to call the police at 3:30 am to report a smashed pumpkin? I dunno.

In other crime....I never thought there would come a day when this would happen....

OMG! What if that gets to be common place, and ads of questionable origin pop up willy nilly on the internet? Let's all just hope that never happens.

As a rule, if there are more than 2 youths in a group, especially if they are hanging out in a shady place like the rec center, they are bad news and not to be trusted....it is always best to alert the authorities, and do it fast, before they do something like this..

But it's not just the kids that are up to nefarious activities.

Okay, I have to cut some slack on this one. I am pretty open minded, so I say, just because the cat didn't know the animal, if everything was consentual, who are we to judge?
Wait, let me read that again to make sure I understand..... Fire, behind the fire department, someone notified the fire department.......I feel safe.Hmmmm...can't add anything to that one, It's a nice little story...fast, alert, fleeing fox...didn't that used to be a typing test or something?

Back by popular demand

It has come to my attention that I have not been keeping my dear readers up to date on the latest goings on in the town of Eldridge. So here are some of the latest additions to the Eldridge police reports published in every one's favorite small town paper, The North Scott Press.
Now, this one is completely understandable. I very often find myself in the same situation, thinking...hey, I've been involved in some illicit activities this week, I think I will call and see if I am a wanted subject.
If you are going to come to Iowa you better make darn sure that you have an Iowa vehicle. We don't allow any out-of-staters hanging around causing trouble.


I heard that they may have been one of those out-of-state cleaning crews!

I am guessing that if someone would have approached this subject before calling the police, they might have figured out that he/she worked there.....oh, but wait, they did have a skateboard after all.

Here on the mean streets of Eldridge, population 4600, kids grow up hard. Wearing their gang colors, John Deere green and uhhh.... John Deere green. Always better to have the officials handle these dangerous, volatile situations.

In defense of the Muskrat, was he just innocently wandering by, or was he doing the creepy stalker thing and peering in the window at her? If it was the creepy stalker thing, she was totally justified in calling the authorities.

In farmy news, Ande had a visit on Monday morning from the veterinarian. She came and gave him some "sleepy shots" which caused him to take a nice little nap, after which he awakened to a couple less body parts in his nether regions. Here he is trying to wake up enough get his lips to move in the appropriate direction.

Sadly, he is still not speaking to me.

Just something to think about

Things are getting back to normal around here. We drove rent-a-ram back to Wisconsin on Saturday.....and I didn't bring any sheep back with me! I am so proud of myself. I spent most of the day today cleaning and rearranging my barns, reuniting the groups of ewes, and adding fresh bedding for the girls. The high temperature was almost 60 degrees today, a wonderful change from the low teens and single digits of just a couple days ago....I even went Carhartt-less today! Now, if we could only do away with the mud.


Anyway...since there is not much new happening, I thought that I would share some of the fascinating "goings on" in Eldridge. Every Wednesday is when our local paper comes out. It is filled with news and gossip from all of the rural towns in Scott county. My very favorite section of the paper, has to be the police reports. I have added a couple of them here for you to ponder.

Now, I don't know, maybe it's just me thinking irrationally, but I'm wondering... if police officers find a drunk driver stuck on the ice...should they free him?

Hmmmmm...I don't recall ever having locked myself inside of my vehicle, maybe it's because my door handles are still intact?

Just something for you to think about.